National Fibromyalgia Day

I can’t go, I’m sorry.

I can’t make that, I’m sorry.

I’m going to have to cancel, I’m sorry.

Can you come to me? I’m sorry

Can you pick that up for me? I’m sorry.

Could you help me? I’m sorry

Can we rearrange? I’m sorry.

I don’t want alcohol, it makes me ill. I’m sorry.

I can’t walk that far. I’m sorry.

I can’t do that piece of work. I’m sorry.

I’ve been asleep all day. I’m sorry.

I don’t understand what you said. I’m sorry.

Can you explain it again please? I’m sorry 

I forgot to do that. I’m sorry.

I forgot to bring it. I’m sorry.

I can’t remember where I put it. I’m sorry.

I’m in a lot of pain. I’m sorry. 

Repetitive isn’t it? I’m sorry I can’t do all the things I used to do. Believe me, it upsets me far more than it upsets you. 

Please don’t invite me to loads of events or social occasions l without understanding that I might not be able to come. 

When I say I’m in pain, take it as read that I’m in A LOT of pain. 

If I forget something you’ve told me it’s because my brain fog is severe and the impact of losing my memory skills is far worse for me than it is for you.

Fibromyalgia rarely exists alone. It tends to manifest itself in a multitude of illnesses. These are just some of the ones I have;

– abscesses which cause tracts across my body. They run into one another & are agonising.

– IBS (unexpected, unpredictable & highly embarrassing)

– numbness & pain in my hands

– plantar fasciitis in my feet

– alternate sweating and freezing.

– nasal problems (inability to breathe through my nose)

– exhaustion. Serious, proper, unable to function exhaustion. Not just abit tired & need a nap, no this is the kind of exhaustion that means I am unable to drive, walk or function. Where I literally can’t keep my eyes open. Which is caused by a trip to the supermarket.

– pain that navigates and move around my body, all day, every day.

– reflux. I wake in the middle of the night vomiting. I don’t wake up to vomit, I actually wake up vomiting. Then I have a panic attack.

– anxiety & depression. Feeling like I can’t function with non-Fibro people means my anxiety levels rocket when I’m forced to do that. Sometimes I physically cannot leave the house. I stay in my pyjamas for days, only communicating with the dog. It’s not a choice I make. It’s a lack of choice.

Fibromyalgia is a really shitty condition for many people. Please be kind to us. 

Thank you

Edit; I would like to add that, without the support I get from my partner, my life would be horrendous. She picks me up, listens, believes me, helps me. She looks after me, takes me to appointments, encourages and cares for me. She has a full time job, is hugely over worked & very tired most of the time. I love you Jo xx

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